We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
