Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
