Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
