it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
