Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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