I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
