i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize