Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
