I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
