And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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