so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
