I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
