about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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