I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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