I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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