i barfeds in our rink
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
