I got chris browned last night
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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