I think i sorta joined a cult last night
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
