go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize