the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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