now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
