i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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