My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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