Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
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Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
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you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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