I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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