wanna go halves on a baby?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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