when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
