I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
