that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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