Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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