He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I just sharted jello shots
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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