Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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