Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
