I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
