do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
