"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
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when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
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He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The Olympian is in my bed
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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