I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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