everyone is single if you try hard enough
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
