I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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