We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
