Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
