I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
