they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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