i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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