I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
