**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
