I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
