turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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