do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
