No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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