I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
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Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
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