My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize