Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
