I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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