I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
