Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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