Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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