Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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