if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
