After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
