whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
