im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think im going to throw up on grandma
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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