He kissed a someone with a penis
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
