Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
